World's Greatest Criminal Mind
by Nix Wolfwood
Summary: Draco and his friends Pansy, Goyal, Crabbe are all sitting around his room planning on what to do for Harry's 17th birthday when Draco Malfoy all of a sudden bursts into song. This is what comes out from it.


This is a parody from World's Greatest Criminal Mind, a Disney movie (The Great Mouse Detective)

Disclaimer: I don't own these Harry Potter characters, or anything from The Great Mouse Detective. On with the story, Magister Dixit!

* * *

Draco Malfoy and his Slytherin buddies are all sitting around his common room, talking amongst themselves. It was nearly midnight when Draco all of a sudden stood up on the sofa and starting singing.

"My friends, we are about to embark on the most odious, the most evil, the most diabolical scheme of my illustrious career. A crime to top all crimes, a crime that will live in infamy!"

Pansy, Goyal, and Crabbe (his buddies) all stare at him like he's crazy, but he continues singing anyway.

"Tomorrow evening, our beloved Harry Potter celebrates his seventeenth birthday. And, with the enthusiastic help of our good friend Mr. Finnigan, it promises to be a night he'll will never forget. His last night, and my first, as the most talked about wizard of all time!"

He pauses for effect, obviously not getting any from the three he again continues singing,

"From the spawn of a Death Eater The head that made headlines in every newspaper And wondrous things like the killing of filthy mudbloods That cunning display that made London a sob"

Finally his words brought a smile to the faces of his little group of friends. He scoots closer to them, for no reason. Seeing as he's in his own house, and his Father is a Death Eater, nothing bad will come from him wanting to hurt Harry Potter. But, it's still fun to write things like that once in a while.

"Now comes the real tour de force Tricky and wicked, of course

My earlier crimes were fine for their times But now that I'm at it again An even grimmer plot has been simmering In my great criminal brain"

Crabbe and Goyal, finally getting in the mood start singing with him.

"Even meaner? You mean it? Worse than the muggles and mudbloods you tortured? You're the best of the worst around Oh, Draco Oh, Malfoy The rest fall behind To Draco To Malfoy The world's greatest criminal mind"

Draco smiles at Goyal and Crabbe for finally catching on to his enthusiam, and forgives Pansy because she has a different part in the song. Before anymore can be thought he yet again starts singing.

"Thank you, Thank you. But it hasn't all been Butter Bear and Chocolate Frogs. I've had my share of adversity, thanks to that miserable second-rate friend of his, Ronald Arthur Weasly. For years, that insufferable pipsqueak has interfered with my plans. I haven't had a moment's peace of mind. But, allthat's in the past! This time, nothing, not even Weasel, can stand in my way! All will bow before me!"

Crabbe and Goyal seeing Draco staring at them decide to start singing again.

"Oh, Draco Oh, Malfoy You're tops and that's that To Draco To Malfoy"

Crabbe then takes a sip of Firewhiskey he snuck from his under his father's pillow and starts singing again.

"To Draco, the world's greatest ferret!"

Draco squints his eyes at him and scoots closer, "What was that? What did you call me?"

"Oh, oh, he didn't mean it, Draco." Goyal steps inbetween the tow of them, "I-it was just a slip of the tongue."

"I am NOT A FERRET!" He screams out to Crabbe.

"'Course you're not. You're a wizard!" Goyal chuckles nervously, "Yeah, that's right. Right! A wizard. Yeah, a great wizard!"

"SILENCE!" Draco screamed at him and looked at Crabbe, "Oh, my dear Crabbe, I'm afraid that you've gone and upset me. You know what happens when someone upsets me?"

Crabbe smiled at him, finishing off the rest of the firewhiskey. Without abother thought he continues singing again.

"Oh, Draco Oh, Malfoy You're the tops and that's that (Oh dear.) To Draco To Malfoy To Draco, the world's greatest -" He stops singing and stands face to face with Pansy and she eats him. (I did say she had another part! Hey, watch the movie, the cat does it the poor mouse)

"Meow." She calls out as Draco stroaks her chin.

"Oh, Pansy, my precious, my baby. Did Daddy's little honey bun enjoy her tasty ?"

Before another word was said she let out a loud belch.

"I trust there will be no further interruptions?" Draco looked at Goyal. "And now, as you were singing?"

Goyal, scared out of his wits that Draco will force Pansy to devour him next sings.

"Even louder We'll shout it! No one can doubt what we know you can do You're more evil than even you Oh, Draco Oh, Malfoy You're one of a kind To Draco To Malfoy The world's greatest criminal mind"

With that Draco bobs his head contently and sits down to finish discussing the matters of Harry's birthday 'present' with the two friends that haven't been eaten yet.

* * *

_I would like to apoligize to those who like Crabbe, but it was in the song! I'm too lazy to actually change it up too much. Gratia Tibi Ago to everyone that reads this. (That's latin for Thank You) Please Review..._


End file.
